Sleep now, write later

Saw the KL Writers workshop... need to really consider if I want to join. Seems nice.. and a good way to establish something..

Biggest darn mistake

I left my phone elsewhere.... at least I know it is a safe place... though still berating myself for the careless act... darn it...

Singing in Russian

Once upon a December .. Russian version. Sounds even better than the English one. And a bit easier to learn than Bratja from FMA. Can't stop listening to it.

Same goes for Walt, Zankyou no Terror OST. THe piano was great. Kinda liked that feel that borders between hope and sadness whenever the melody drifts by..

And off to bed I should go... Practice and cleaning tomorrow.

fanfics ramblings

Suddenly got some fanfic ideas.... on TF, on PR and some others. Nostalgia childhood memories...

Idea 1 (PR:Lightspeed) - Their enemy was turned back into an infant without his adult memories. The Rangers found him and took him in.

Idea 2 (TF) - J & P, P & J. Various stories: Sleeping Beauty version, Cat and Mice version...

I think i need to sort those out..

In the meantime, lots to think about in films and anime.

Zankyou no Resonance - makes you think if some of our young people who joined the likes of IS; have they felt they'd been wronged by the established government/the current society? And joining the militants is the only way they thought that could get their point across or give them hope?

Ramble

Lots to think about this week. Aside from getting sick. 

There has been news of the worsening economy, the rising costs of living and all. Like we need the news to inform us of what we've been experiencing currently. Looks like I can't give up this job now, not if I want to survive and plan for next year. 

As for next year, I think I really should go out of Malaysia for a while. A short while maybe. Or a long time, if there are work available elsewhere. Right now I have no idea what I can do. Did join a charity fund-raising and tried performing in public, solo. Is really a big difference compared to being in a choir.

Another thing I noticed of myself. I keep making social blunders. I don't know, or I cannot read social cues accurately, and react accordingly. I think I embarrassed myself. Hindsight there. Do I really need to take Psychology just so I can function as a normal human being? I think some of my friends are right. I have been living in my own world for far too long. But it was the only way I thought I could avoid conflict. Because conflict can cause resentment. Resentment brings hate. And I wouldnt know if I've offended anyone in any way, and I'm a paranoid nut who's afraid of everything, including the consequences if I've offended someone. I'm scared that I don't have the means or power to protect myself. I think I'm weak and useless. I don't think I can ever stand up to anything because I'm useless and clueless and plain old stupid paranoid. Why do I ever want to live in society? Why don't I just pack up and be a hermit in the woods, away from civilization? I don't mind that, but I don't know how to do that either. Now I sound stupid. But I can't help feeling like this. I don't know if I have any talent or anything. I can't seem to find any passion in anything. Perhaps I do have passions in certain causes, but I don't know how to get to them, not without being a burden to my family. I'm not sure how I should continue. 

Surprisingly, I still don't feel like I should bomb the whole world into oblivion. Guess I still like some of the stuff on this planet.  

I hate humans. yet I am one. Pathetic, kinda.

again, late to sleep. Dont understand why I do it again. Shouldnt have. Yet cant resist. Regrets.. should be sleeping now.